Do you know how people in kickboxing use a punching bag to train on? Actually it’s known to be the perfect way to get out all your negative thoughts/ feelings and even stress!
Unfortunately some men in real life use their women as their own punching bags…sounds weird ha!
But let’s try something together!
Read the questions below and think deep before you answer:
- Have you ever been mistreated by your partner, and his justification was “you made me do it”?
- Have you ever been cheated on, and your partner justification was “you’re not good enough”?
- Does your partner always make you doubt or criticize your decisions in life, work or even with your kids…etc?
- Does your partner reflects one or more of his weaknesses on you?
If the answer is “YES” to one or more then keep reading…
There was this story of a woman who sent her problem asking how to deal with her husband who repeatedly cheats on her….explaining/ justifying this act by “she’s so ugly so he cheats on me”, she was 100% sure/ convinced that this was the reason and she deserved to be cheated on…. Not doubting for a second that he is abusing her kindness to justify his sinful act….repeatedly making her feel bad about herself just to get away with it.
This made me remember this scene from “the vow” movie, when the guy – who was super nice and amazingly supportive partner, suddenly snaps at his wife when she kept stressing him, abusing his kindness, and told her “I’m not your punching bag!!”
I’ve seen it a lot, when women are being used as “Punching Bags”, their partners abuse their kindness and support to release their anger, pain and insecurities on them…knowing that they won’t fight back.
A man who cheats on his wife repeatedly, and out of guilt (or to just get away with it) keeps convincing her that she is the reason whether she’s ugly, doesn’t take enough care of him…etc, guess what, you are his PUNCHING BAG!
A man who has a sexual problem and feels impotent, so he emotionally abuses his wife, by convincing her that she’s not attractive enough or can’t arouse him, guess what, you are his PUNCHING BAG!
A man who’s less successful than his wife, so he emotionally abuses her by mocking every decision she makes, in house, with kids or around friends and family, convincing her she’s less competent than she thinks…just to satisfy his ego, guess what, you are his PUNCHING BAG!
The list of examples can go on forever…
But the sad fact, that this kind of emotional abuse is usually overlooked, as it is not clear as physical abuse.
Or sometimes out of sympathy with the abuser, giving them excuse over and over again.
Now you need to ask yourself, till when can you tolerate it?!
This psychological abuse will eat you alive, till you become of no use to yourself, your partner, people around you or most worse you children.
We see women in their late 40s living their lives like zombies with no passion to life with low self-esteem wondering what happened along the way, as by the book their partners seemed flawless; successful, kind, caring and great fathers but the fact is THEY ARE NOT!
The next time your partner abuses you remember this scene and tell him “I’m not your PUNCHING BAG” you either man up and face your fears, insecurities and then deal with me or else I’ll walk away!
By Zeinab Al Ashry
Founder of Confessions of a Married Woman